Tag Archive | gifts

Giving and Getting — Uh,…I mean Giving and Receiving


For years I have made a serious effort to “walk my talk” in the area of giving and receiving.   Acts 20:35 is very familiar to us, where Paul quotes Jesus’ words, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.”   I also have taken very seriously the warning in Luke 12:48b:  “For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required; and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask the more.”  These verses have governed the rationale for my behavior in so many areas for my entire life.  As a young teenager, I was acutely aware that God had blessed me, and that I had done nothing to deserve His favor or blessings.   I knew I had been given much, and that I had a proportionally great responsibility to be a good steward of what God had given me.  Although, like most people, I love receiving presents, I have always felt that I should try my very best to remain on the giving end of relationships.

As I examine this issue, I must concede that I don’t have as much difficulty receiving material gifts as I do receiving gifts of service — particularly if someone is offering to do something that I view as my personal responsibility.   Somehow, I have ended up regarding the legitimate process of receiving acts of kind service as “getting” something.   For me, “getting” smacks of entitlement or laziness, so it feels uncomfortable to me — or even unappealing.

However, God WANTS us to receive from one another; if that were not so, why would He emphasize the importance of GIVING?  By definition, in order for giving to take place, there must be a recipient.  If I insist on always being on the giving end of a situation, then I am in danger of controlling the relationship and hindering others from giving (which they also are commanded by God to do!).  Giving and getting are NOT opposites, as getting implies some procurative effort on our part.  On the other hand, giving and receiving are opposites and create a lovely relational balance when exercised in a reciprocal manner in a relationship (even though it IS more blessed to give than to receive!).

The attention-getter for me with this issue of receiving was proposed to me by one of my young adult children who asked me:  “Mom, if we always want to give and are reluctant to receive, how can we ever expect to understand and receive the fullness of what Jesus died to give us?”  THAT thought hit me like a brick.  Indeed, the Lover of my soul died to give ME forgiveness, salvation, eternal life, and a Kingdom that cannot be shaken.   He even said, “It’s the Father’s good pleasure to give you the Kingdom” (Luke 12:32).  I think I need to brush up on my receiving skills!  Father, enlarge my capacity to receive the fullness of Yourself and all You desire to give me!

Dry Hole, Stagnant Cistern, or Living Water?

Of late, I have been examining my motives for giving.   Do I give to get, or do I get to give?  Do I give in order to get something in return (thanks, value, credit, honor, a good image, or material increase for myself), or do I truly enjoy the privilege of giving away my money, time, talents, effort, with no thought of benefit to myself?   The answer is disappointing, if I am honest with myself.

I really should know better, as my parents taught me a lesson in giving that still speaks to me.  When I was about eight, they began giving me a small allowance of $1.25 a week.  Of that, I got to keep twenty-five cents.  Seventy-five cents went for milk money at school, and the other quarter was to be put in the offering plate at church. To this day, I remember my annoyance and disappointment:  I asked my mother why she and Daddy didn’t just keep the milk money and the church money and give it themselves to the school and to church. It seemed pointless  to give me something that was pre-designated for someone else.  As an adult, of course, I understand that this lesson in income and expenses was an important one, as most of a paycheck is used for fixed, regular expenses, such as rent and utilities.   As a child, however, this made no sense to me (especially the church part, as my parents were with me at church and could have put that quarter in the plate themselves).

The second memorable lesson occurred when I attended church with my now-husband after we graduated from college.  He put a bill in the offering plate, folded in thirds in such a way that no one could see the denomination of the bill.  Curious, I asked him how much he had given.  He replied, “Twenty dollars.”  Horrified and shocked, I stared at him and wondered why and how he could give that much!  (Keep in mind that this was in 1976!)  I mistakenly thought everyone was supposed to give a quarter, simply because that was what my parents told me should come out of my allowance as a child.  Somehow, I had missed the fact that offering percentages (along with other expenses) rise in conjunction with one’s total income.   

Recently, I have been meditating on the concept of giving, and how my views of giving can increase my risk of spiritual dryness or stagnation.  A simple example of a life-giving resource is the blood in the human body:  the same volume of blood so vital to life in all parts of the body does not just sit in one reservoir, but instead circulates continually through all the tissues and organs of the body, bringing life to every cell.  In God’s economy, this same principle of circulation applies to everything else:  our time, our money, our material possessions, our energy, our talents.  Since God is the source of every resource, both spiritual and natural, He could certainly keep it all and enjoy it all Himself.  Instead, He has chosen to use us, His people, as channels for His Kingdom “circulatory system.”  If I will be faithful to give away WHAT He directs and invest in the way He leads me to invest (personally, in relationships as well as finances), He will activate His divine process whereby He redeems, re-creates, refreshes, restores, reuses, and recycles the resources He has placed in me/invested in me.

The Bible speaks often  about God and the restorative power of His living water.  He is a spring of life, a fountain, a supplier of living, bubbling spiritual water that flows from our inmost being as believers. (See Jeremiah 17:13, Joel 3:18, Zech. 13:1; John 4:14; Rev. 7:17; Rev. 21:6.)  He is always moving, flowing, transforming us by His presence.  Just as He did not sit with all His resources in heaven and watch us perish, but instead gave a part of Himself, Jesus, to die for our sins, He expects us to give ourselves away, first to Him as our Redeemer, and then to one another.  The degree to which I give myself away will determine my stagnation level, as standing water that is hindered from flowing invariably becomes stagnant.   Worse yet, I could use up all my resources myself and be left with a dry hole I have dug all on my own!  Jeremiah 2:13 states: ” For My people have committed two evils: They have forsaken Me, the fountain of living waters, and hewn themselves cisterns—broken cisterns that can hold no water.”

I used to have trouble understanding the story Jesus  told in Matthew 25:14-30 about the man who went on a trip and entrusted his goods to his servants.  When he came home, he found that the servant to whom he had entrusted the most had invested his talents and made a profit.  The servant who had received two talents had done the same and had a return on his investment to give back to his master.  The third servant, who had only received one talent, had put his master’s money in a hole in the ground (a safe place, I would think!).  His master was not pleased and took away the one talent the man had been given.  As a financial conservative, this story bothered me for years.  However, now I am beginning to understand the difference between stagnation and flow.   God gives us gifts to be given away, not to hoard in fear.   What He has invested in us is for the purpose of edifying others (Ephesians 4:12).

My prayer is that God will deliver me from every fear, from my tendency to hoard resources, from my reluctance to engage in relationships with other people unless I am certain they are a “good risk,” and from my own selfishness.   He is faithful and will deliver me!   Thank you, Lord, for Your amazing generosity!  Help me to remember that all You have given me is for the purpose of giving to others (mercy, kindness, faithfulness, insights, knowledge, understanding, material possessions, finances), that they may be edified and You glorified.  Don’t let me hold on to what You are calling me to give away; let those things not spoil in my hands but be given away while fresh and full of life!