Tag Archive | perfection

If I am accepted by God, why can’t I accept myself?

Most of us have been involved in some sort of personality test. You know the type that asks “what are your strengths, what are your best attributes”? I venture to say most of us can list our weaknesses, brain and body defects quicker than we can list our strengths and best features. Personally, I struggle with this type of comparison issues. I don’t think I mean to make it a competition. Our culture is self-focused on who makes the most money, drives the most expensive cars, has the best fashion in their closet, is the fittest or has the best hair style. Our eyes see what appears perfect in the movies, on television, YouTube, and social media. What is not shown, is how long and what steps it took to present this illusion. I believe it is illusion. Anyone can put on a happy face for a few minutes and let the professional airbrush the photo. Let’s pull off the mask and see what’s underneath.

I’m going down deep to the root of myself. What is the source of my perfectionism? Is my insecurity based in fear? Fear of rejection? Fear of failure? Fear of success? Fear of hurt and pain? Fear of being vulnerable? Fear is not of God. I must rebuke fear and embrace grace!

2 Timothy 1:7 (TPT) For God will never give you a spirit of fear, but the Holy Spirit who gives you mighty power, love and self-control.

I long to be accepted, to belong to the group. The group can be at church, school, work, the gym, the neighborhood. Somehow I am always disappointed within a group. People will ALWAYS disappoint us. Humans are imperfect. Jesus will not disappoint. He is perfect love. We were created to crave a relationship with God, Abba.

2 Corinthians 5:21 (NASB) He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.

Often, I feel inadequate for life! This fact may surprise some of you. Others will know it to be true because they feel the same way. In fact, I speculate more can relate to it than cannot relate.  I am my worst critic. Of everything! Jesus still loves and accepts me! Sometimes I need to ask myself, “what is the worst thing that could happen because I burned dinner or was late to an appointment?” 

Abba never meant for humans to live alone. We are to be community.  Safe. Supportive. So many times in life I have failed. I have eaten too many cookies, burned dinner, or opened my mouth when I should have kept it shut. Is there a voice in your head saying “me too!”? Isolation increases darkness. When I think no one else could possibly have ever felt this way, it is a lie.  Darkness cannot stand exposure. I am not alone.  YOU are not alone! WE are not alone!

Roman 8:1 (NASB) Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Here’s the kicker: God accepts me (and you) and I (we) belong to His Kingdom. When I am rooted in Jesus, the others fall away. Jesus meets us where we are, without a mask. On earth, there is evil and will be until Jesus’ return. We are in between the first garden and the last garden.

The takeaway: JESUS is the firm foundation for life. The Bible is the manual. When we seek Him first, our hearts have communion with Him. I won’t be perfect this side of heaven and I don’t need to be perfect. God uses my imperfections for His glory.  On Christ the solid rock I stand all other ground is sinking sand.

1 Corinthians 15:58 (NIV) Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you.

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People Watching

Is it really innocent entertainment? Or is it me passing judgment?
It happens nearly everywhere I go: grocery store, airport, gym, coffee shop…
When I people watch, I find myself comparing how: HER body is solid, her face is flawless, her fashion flatters her, and her hair is perfect. Better than mine. Perfect, if only in my eyes at that moment. Herein lays the Perfection Trap. I want perfection: 30 pounds lighter with those flat, solid abs; hair that stays in the right place despite Houston humidity; white teeth. If I were perfect, my clothes would ALL fit (comfortably, that is), I wouldn’t be so self-conscious…seemingly perfect. I’m pretty sure I heard someone say “RIIIIIGHHHHT!” My brain knows that’s not how it works. But I judge myself harshly anyway. I have fallen into the media’s trap of the ideal, beautiful woman, again and again.
God has designed me the way I am. Yes, I can take care of the body I am given. But I don’t have to hit an extreme to keep it functioning well. The Perfection Trap goes around and around like my dog chasing his tail. Francesca Battistelli song states “perfection is my enemy” and it is true. How can I get rid of the world image stuck in my head and replace it with how God sees me? He specially formed me.
For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. Psalm 138:13
Beauty from the inside out.
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Don’t be impressed by his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. God does not view things the way men do. People look on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” I Samuel 16:7
 

Butterfly

 

Other times when I people watch, I find fault in the parents of misbehaving children. I call this the Parent Trap.                                                                                                               images

It’s easy for me to think, “My child would NEVER behave like that, especially in public.” Of course, those of you who know my children realize that they are PERFECT!! Again, I am hearing someone say “RIIIIIGHHHHT!” (My daughters are wonderful women, but not perfect.) Or the ever popular “I would NEVER let my child do that!” Somehow, I manage to judge myself better than those parents! Oh wait…am I the same woman who can’t measure up to worldly beauty? I am asking myself. How can I have such diametrically opposed reactions? I am far from a perfect parent. I have not walked in another parent’s shoes. I have no right to condemn them based on a 5 minute glimpse or the entire picture of their life. Yet I do! My flesh gets the best of me! Even Paul had this trouble:
“For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.” Romans 7:18-19
“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Matthew 7:1-2

 
Father, I ask for Your vision for myself and for others. May I have Your eyes to see beyond what seems obvious. May I have Your grace for others and for myself. And, when needed, keep one hand on my shoulder and the other over my mouth!
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